What will you do to affirm yourself ...

God Says Yes to Me

I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic
and she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short
and she said sure it is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish
or not wear nail polish
and she said honey
she calls me that sometimes
she said you can do just exactly
what you want to
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don’t paragraph
my letters
Sweetcakes God said
who knows where she picked that up
what I’m telling you is
Yes Yes Yes
                            -Kaylin Haught

I love this poem; it reminds me to be kind to myself and to allow myself to be me. We are perfect exactly the way we are, right now at this moment. 

Allow yourself to be who you are, to express yourself in ways that suit you, to do or not do what you decide for you. You are of divine light – who is to say that there is anything less than perfect, wonderful, and beautiful about that? Remember who you are ♥

What will you do to affirm yourself today? How will you give yourself permission to be who you are even if it doesn’t meet the expectations, requirements, and comfort level of others? 

I anticipate my return to the rainforest with excitement and wonder; I am still amazed.

I dream of a tropical paradise. I envision myself standing on an open air platform overlooking the rainforest – green for miles, cool tropical breezes blowing through my hair, cooling my skin. I dream of a quiet walk on the beach, an undeveloped expanse of sand and water that is natural, grainy, and soft. I hear the whisper of the waves calling, “Come, relax, breathe, be …” I stand on the platform, eyes closed, palms together in front of my heart, and answer, “Auuummm …” There are no sounds of cars, trains, or semi-trucks; there is no air pollution to stifle deep breathing. There is only peace and space. Stillness is the background, the foreground, and all grounds in between. Except for the gentle shushing of trees moving with the wind, the steady rhythm of the ocean, and the call of the howler monkeys announcing the beginning of a new day, there is stillness, steadiness, and mindfulness as a way of being.

I remember my first visit to the paradise that is Luna Lodge; we were greeted by Lana herself, visionary/creator/preserver of this amazing place. With a knowing smile, she gently offered tall cool glasses of water, led us to the lodge platform, and presented the rainforest as if it were her child. We stood gazing across miles of lush, green, billowing trees, barely breathing, in awe-struck silence. The expansiveness is breathtaking; the denseness of foliage is indescribable. I could not stop looking, I could not speak; I knew I was blessed with a secret that many will never know. I finally took a breath and felt a full-body exhale, as if it came from the trees themselves, releasing all stress, tension, fears, and inhibitions. I sensed a gentle softening of something very deep within myself. The healing magic of Mother Nature with the incredible nourishment of tropical surrounds us, embraces us and offers us her love and healing as we respectfully honor her domain. I anticipate my return to the rainforest with excitement and wonder; I am still amazed.

Clean, open, uncomplicated - that’s what I am experiencing ...

Thirty-two days ago I decided to eat raw vegan food for one day as an experiment in “clean living”. My diet was already pretty healthy (I thought). I have been vegan for nearly five or so years, vegetarian for about ten or eleven before that. My interest in food keeps me reading, learning, and questioning all I can on the subject. Through my research, as I mentioned in an earlier blog, I began to realize that through cooking I have been destroying most of the nutritional value of my food. As a result, I decided to try it raw, vegan, organic, and whole, to see if I felt a difference. One day at a time.

I set the following parameters:

·        If I wanted to continue for more than one day I would do so, but with the understanding that I was committing to only one day at a time.

·        If I wanted to eat something cooked, I would do that as well, without any negative feelings or judgment.

·        That I would embrace the preparation of food as a sacred act. This means having positive healing intention, often chanting mantra or having it playing in the background, and imbibing my food with love during preparation. Allowing only positive energy in my food.

I felt that in order to truly benefit from a clean diet, I would have to feel clean, not only physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as well. The past thirty-two days have offered opportunities for me to understand what that really means. As the days went by I noticed that my asana and meditation practices had taken on a new shape; I started practicing a few series’ from the Bihar school which I have found to be very cleansing and awakening. About three weeks in, I became more mindful of my interactions with others and decided consciously to be less involved in or concerned about other people’s opinions and decisions. I felt a natural release of petty concerns toward and about others and their choices – their issues are not my issues, etc. And this too felt very clean, as if I had wiped  away a layer of unnecessary film that hads been clouding my vision. I am feeling less tired and am putting more energy into my time at home, into my close relationships, and working toward being as transparent as possible. By focusing on myself and on things of which I truly have some control I have more energy and more time to do the things I love.

So here I am at day thirty-two; I am starting the day with juice and moving on from there. I have been drinking plenty of water and am feeling very centered and grounded.  Will I continue eating raw? We’ll see. With my new perspective on nourishment I have felt a lifting, a sloughing off, or a finishing of work that has been in progress for a while. It’s as if I needed to step across a line or strip away another layer in order to be in the next space. Eating raw has been that step. Clean, open, uncomplicated - that’s what I am experiencing. By each “letting go”, I have found a huge release and an opening of some sort – much bigger than expected. I am raw today and it feels really good : )

Exploring the world of raw food. Day 15:

Fifteen days ago, I decided that I would eat raw vegan food for one day; and if I felt like it, I would do it again the next day, and the next, etc. Each day I would decide how I feel and move on from there; and each day it has been, strangely and unexpectedly, liberating! Part of my agreement with myself is that if I want something cooked I will eat it and enjoy it - no guilt, no self-recriminating judgment, just pleasure as a result of making a mindful decision. I have put no limitations on food quantity, number of meals, etc., other than anything I eat will be vegan. So, I am fifteen days in, feeling satisfied and healthy, and oddly, as though I have always eaten this way.

Over the past 5 years or so of eating a vegan diet, I have explored, experimented with, and eaten many amazingly delicious cruelty-free meals. Many of these have been raw as I like to take in as much nutrient-rich food as possible and have enjoyed creating raw vegan treats and meals as a novelty and as a way to experience a variety of tastes and textures. I have always enjoyed the raw foods I have created and felt good adding them to my cooked vegan meals. However, lately I have felt myself moving into a new space- I have developed a strong desire for raw vegan food - fresh, living, highly nourishing food that is not cooked and still delicious. And though I have for some time been aware of the benefits of eating food that hasn’t had most of the nutrition cooked away, I haven’t always understood the reasons that one would choose to do such an “odd thing” as a total way of eating. Adding fresh vegetables, fruits, and seeds to your meals should be enough, right?

Throughout this experiment I have continued reading about food, learning more about enzymes (we cook them away and they're really important!), phytonutrients (yep, need them too!)and my confusion as to why we cook so much of our food has increased. Our taste preference for cooked food has led to the depletion of nourishment in the food, which leaves us unsatisfied; this leads to food cravings, then to overeating, and finally to health problems such as obesity, diabetes, and heart diseases among others (read more here). Hence my experiment to see how I would feel while eating a diet of 100% living, whole, vegan food, one day at a time; and I have been enjoying every minute of it! I feel as though I am rediscovering something that I already knew, but until now, I wasn’t ready to really know it.

So: Does eating all raw make a difference? Will I feel better? - I don't feel bad right now. Will I feel different at all? These are some of the questions I have been asking myself throughout this experiment. And so far, results are good.  

Some things I have noticed:

·       Mindfulness
I am so much more mindful of what I am doing as I prepare food. Raw vegan food preparation necessitates mindfulness – lots of sharp tools - knives, food processor blade, etc. one has to be aware of hand placement whether slicing, dicing, chopping etc. or reaching into a sink full of soapy water! I have found that spreading cracker “dough” onto dehydrator sheets, or layering nut crust with carob cream filling and then cashew cream requires steadiness and awareness.

It feels good to know that the preparation of food is something for which I have set aside time. I can focus on what I am doing, think loving thoughts and infuse this living food with nurturing healing energy : )

·     Energy level & Emotions
Throughout the past 15 days my energy level and emotions have stayed consistent; even on days that are usually low energy for me (prior to and beginning of menstrual cycle). And this is while living out of town, with 3 or 4 other people depending on the day, teaching a different schedule than usual, etc. – I feel contentedly grounded, centered, and balanced : )

·    Love
I feel that I am offering love to myself and others through this nourishment; by offering food with high levels of prana (vital life force) I am offering love energy as food. Seeing the little sprouts on cashews and almonds softens my heart and makes me smile – I know it sounds weird but it’s the truth! This is how I want my life to be/feel – love centered, inside, outside and all around. There is tenderness and joy tingling within me and it feels really good.  Namaste ♥

You will find peace deep within you and it will rise to the surface.

There is blessedness in all things. But the past two days were filled with experiences of grace that require a new definition of blessedness. Eternal Health Yoga, our sacred space of love and spirit, was the setting for a remarkable event; Wah! was here. She presented us with her gifts of healing and devotion through sacred sound and yoga; and we will be ever changed by her teaching. Thank you, Wah!, for your guidance through this part of our journey. Those of us, who were present for the Sound Workshop on Wednesday, experienced one of those rare and precious moments of joy and connection; a room of spiritual beings, singing to and with one another; holding one another, loving one another. So wonderful; we are truly blessed.

When you are in need of assurance, of healing, of a sense of wholeness – watch this short video, wrap your arms around one another, and sing from your heart. You will find peace deep within you and it will rise to the surface. Smooth out your edges and open to the love that is you. Namaste ♥

If you are looking for a place in which you can be yourself, where people are laid-back, and fun, and nice ...

A few years ago, Donna, a yoga student said to me, “Shelli, we should have a Book Club; there are a lot of us who like to read and it would be fun to have it here.” My answer, “I agree!” We scheduled a meeting. A group of students, I think there were 8 or 9, showed up and we discussed the format, how often we would meet, what kinds of books we would discuss, how we would decide on the books, etc.  Four and a half years later here we are, having read a huge variety of books, enjoyed one another’s company, and shared delicious food and beverage. Our Book Club had become an integral part of the Eternal Health Yoga community.

What is Eternal Health Yoga? You know that wonderful, homey, comfy, feeling you get when you enter certain special spaces? That’s what we have here - we all get that sweet, “ah …” feeling, as soon we walk through the doors of either studio – we are a community of like-minded, but very unique individuals, who are open to the ideas of others. We care about each other; we are interested in one another’s thoughts and opinions. It feels good to be part of something that is so nurturing and healing. This is a place where there is openness to growth and change; while at the same time, there is a consistency that offers a sense of safety and serenity. It feels good to be part of something through which people can share their ideas, make requests, be heard, respected, and loved. 
Dear reader, If you are looking for a place in which you can be yourself, where people are laid-back, and fun, and nice, please join us at Eternal Health Yoga for yoga classes, potlucks, movie nights, book club, art openings, parties, and anything else we can come up with that helps us feel validated, connected, and joyful. I love Eternal Health Yoga; I love the people here, I love the energy, the smell, the feel. We are incredibly blessed to have created this special place of serenity – thank you, thank you, thank you, all of you ; and welcome always! Namaste ♥ 

Building Community

Yesterday afternoon   - so much fun bowling with the awesome teachers of Eternal Health Yoga! I am so grateful and filled with joy that I have these beautiful, smart, funny, incredible women in my life! We brought yummy food, bowled a few games, laughed at and with the kids, and shared time with one another and our families as the love-filled community that we are. It is a challenge to find those wonderful people who uplift you and always bring a smile to your face!  I have nine: D’Arci, Marie, Liz, Jodie, Carrie, Amy, Jen, Tiffany, and Anna! Nine women, who work together, hang out together, enjoy one another’s company, and respect one another as equals. I am so fortunate; I am aware of how fortunate I am. Thank you, amazing EHY women! You make my heart sing!